


Skirt the topic

by Evil_Keshi



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys in Skirts, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25433122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Keshi/pseuds/Evil_Keshi
Summary: Wearing the skirt was supposed to be a simple punishment following a lost dare. Alec wasn't supposed to enjoy the experience and he certainly wasn't supposed to have a life crisis over it.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 39
Kudos: 259





	Skirt the topic

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I was feeling inspired to write this while taking a break from my Hogwarts AU (which I hope to update soon!) and I hope you will enjoy the result :)

  


It all begins, like most of Alec's unfortunate adventures, because of his evil siblings. Not Max, bless his young and innocent soul, but Izzy and Jace are guilty and Alec hopes that karma will soon come to bite them in the ass. They sure as hell deserve it. To be perfectly honest, he's partly responsible as well but contrarily to his siblings, he has already been dealt his terrible fate. Really, he should know better by now than to engage his sister and his brother when they're tipsy.

He has a lot of experience dealing with his siblings' stupid ideas, which become increasingly idiotic when they're both giggling messes, so Alec should have foreseen that a bet including drunk siblings, running laps around the small lake in the park, in the darkness of the night and taking turns carrying each other could only end with one of them falling into the water. Of course, it had to be him.

"Don't ask," he told Magnus when he came back home that night, soaked and miserable, and he had never felt more grateful for his fiancé than at this moment, when he willingly abandoned the warmth of their bed to run him a hot bath.

Alec is pretty sure that he, a) lost the bet, whatever it was at the beginning, and b) has already suffered enough. He certainly doesn't deserve another punishment, since he considers that falling into the cold water was enough, but Jace and Izzy are not done with him. He hates when his siblings are stubborn and gang up on him and he knows, no matter how much he argues, that they'll make him do something ridiculous to punish him a bit further. If anything, his protests might only fuel their creativity, so he eventually shuts up and prays that they don't completely ruin his reputation.

He has no idea what to expect. Before he started dating Magnus, they would often bring him to a bar or an actual club and have him awkwardly moving his body on the dance floor until someone came up to him to ask for his phone number. Alec is proud to say that he found Magnus all on his own and managed to woo him without any meddling from his nosy siblings.

He was at work, actually, when a beautiful man walked into his bookshop, in desperate need for recommendations, hoping to find a book that would tell him how to keep his little indoor garden green and alive. _All my plants are dying!_ he'd exclaimed, and Alec had kindly shown him the right corner of the shop. That could have been all, except that this beautiful man had come back one week later to offer him a small cactus that Alec had apparently helped to save, and to ask him out.

From that day on, there had been no more awkward fidgeting on dance floors so Alec really, really doesn't know what his siblings will do to him this time. The answer comes quickly enough, though.

They corner him the next week, when they meet at Izzy's place before heading into town to spend one of their infamous, weekly siblings-only nights out. Jace grins at him when he arrives and leaves his shoes in the hall and Isabelle has such a wild gleam in her eyes that Alec briefly entertains the thought of running away and calling Magnus to have a date night instead, before he remembers that his fiancé is attending a dinner in a fancy restaurant with his boss' team. Magnus won't rescue him tonight.

"Take your pants off," Izzy orders as soon as he steps in her living-room and oh no, he can see where this is going.

"No," he says - shrieks - loudly, "I'm not going into town half-naked. I don't want to be arrested for indecent exposure!"

"Relax, Alec," Jace tells him, and he has the gall to roll his eyes. "You won't be naked. We're not that cruel. You're going to wear..."

"Tadaaaaaa!" Izzy interrupts her brother with way too much enthusiasm, proudly presenting her other brother with a piece of black fabric that looks like a...

"A skirt," Alec realises, his stomach freefalling to his feet and below. "You want me to wear a skirt?! No!"

"Why not?" Izzy counters. "It's one of mine, so at least you're certain that it's stylish."

"That's not the point!" Alec exclaims, dread coiling in his guts, and he's absolutely sure that his cheeks are pink.

"Also, I chose a black one so it won't clash with your usual colours," his sister adds with a pointed look towards Alec's black (excuse you, charcoal) pants and black (anthracite!) cardigan over his white shirt.

He doesn't bother to tell her that he's perfectly capable of dressing himself and that his favourite sweater is a baby blue one that Magnus gifted him a few years ago because that's not the point either. The point is, he can't wear a _skirt_.

"I can't wear a skirt," he deadpans.

"If I do this every day, you can do it for one evening," Izzy shots back. "It won't kill you. Come on!"

"I'll look ridiculous," Alec protests again, although he knows how stubborn his sister can be - they're family, after all, and they both take after their mother on that regard.

"That's the whole point of a punishment," Izzy says. "Hurry!"

"I won't..."

"You can still go half-naked," Jace announces with a shrug, which shuts his brother's mouth at once. "Your pick. Do you need me to wrestle you out of your pants?"

Alec doesn't have the time to answer. Izzy throws her black skirt at him and jerks her head toward the bathroom with imperious eyes, and Alec complies. He's not even sure why the fight has left him. All he knows is that he locks the door of the bathroom behind himself, shimmies out of his skinny jeans and stares at the skirt as he holds it up.

It's nothing too extravagant, nothing too tight either, and Alec is actually sure that Izzy has put a lot of thought into which skirt to make him wear. He's seen her collection of pencil and mermaids skirts before, not to mention the miniskirts, and they're red or blue or emerald green, so he's glad that he ended up with a simple A-line black one. It could have been worse.

It could have been _so much_ worse, even though Alec is taller than his sister and the skirt that is supposed to end right above his knees reveals a bit more skin than planned, up to the beginning of his thighs. He tries not to think about it as he unlocks the door and steps out of the bathroom, to be met with twin grins and a flash as Jace takes his picture.

"Cute," he snorts, fiddling with his phone, and Alec really hopes, for the sake of Jace's pretty face, that he's not uploading the picture on Facebook or any other app: he won't hesitate to throw punches.

"I can't wait to go out with you!" Izzy exclaims, hooking her arm with Alec to lead him back to the hall, but as he bends to put on his sneakers again, she tut-tuts. "Oh, you can't put those shoes back on, that just won't do. Here, try these!"

 _These_ are black Converse high tops that just so happened to be lying there and are, conveniently enough, Alec's size. He's pretty sure Izzy bought them just for tonight, to go with the skirt, but he doesn't point it out. He guesses the sooner they leave her apartment, the sooner his suffering will end.

The bar they usually go to is a fifteen-minute walk away from her place, twenty if they take their time, but Alec bets with himself that they can make it in ten minutes tops. He doesn't want to linger in the streets for longer than strictly necessary, so if he has to virtually run to get to the bar faster, he will.

It doesn't go according to plan. Izzy holds his hand, slows him down, just so she can randomly break into a little dance with him while Jace records them, only to switch with her and have his moment of glory next to his skirt-clad brother captured forever in a picture. Alec rolls his eyes but he goes along with it, aware that he doesn't really have another choice.

There is a freshness to the air tonight, not too cold but definitively not warm enough to go around wearing a skirt and no tights underneath. Alec walks, blushes and keeps his head down as they meet a few people across the streets, and he doesn't dare look up and see what reaction is conveyed through these outsiders' eyes. He focuses on his legs instead - his very visible legs, naked from a little above his ankles up to his thighs, pale skin on display. He can see his bare knees and his thighs, showing more skin as he steps forward, the skirt riding up as he moves.

It's not too bad, he muses. Actually, it even feels... nice. The fabric slides over his skin in soft touches, delicate as it hugs one of his thighs when he steps forward, left-right-left-right, only to float a little, as if suspended in the air, during the one second it takes his leg to move up again. Pants don't do that, don't _feel_ like that, they're always tight around him and don't allow the calm breeze of the evening to brush against his legs in a cool caress. The skirt doesn't restrict his movements, he knows he won't rip the seams if he suddenly strides across the street to quicken his pace, and he feels... He feels pretty. He feels free. He likes it. He likes the skirt.

Alec nearly passes the bar when he realises what thought just popped in his mind and he's thankful for Jace's joyful voice that pulls him out of his head and back to Earth, just in time for him to turn around and stop, pretending that he was only waiting for his siblings to go in first so he could follow them.

Truth is, Alec is terrified. He likes the skirt. The implications of such a statement... not so much. He doesn't want to delve into that right now so when he and his siblings walk into the bar, he tries not to think about it, not to think about the stares he already knows he's receiving, and when they sit at a round table, he squishes himself between his brother and his sister, close to the wall. At least his legs are hidden beneath the table, shielded by his siblings'. It's good. He doesn't want to attract too much attention.

"Why don't you go and order our drinks?" Izzy suggests then, wiggling her eyebrows, and Alec nearly starts crying right then and there.

"I... I'm not sure," he stammers, eyes unmoving from his still hands, carefully joined in his lap.

He's supposed to hate the skirt. It's a punishment for failing at a stupid bet, so he should hate the way the fabric caresses his skin, he should stomp to the counter and complain to the bartender about how his siblings forced him into that ridiculous skirt to make fun of him and... Instead, he enjoys wearing it. Alec doesn't want to stand up and be shamed when people realise that not only is he dressed like a woman, but he also likes it. He can already imagine the comments that would be thrown his way and... and he's dealt with bullying enough when he was in high school and it became _clear_ that he liked boys. His rainbow flag at the library got him in trouble once or twice as well, he doesn't want to add more to the list.

"I'll go with you," Jace suddenly offers as he feels his brother's discomfort, and Izzy approves.

Alec makes it as quick an affair as possible. He nearly shouts their order at the bartender who does not look impressed, puts too much cash on the counter and doesn't bother to pick up his change, and he power walks back to the table, beer sloshing dangerously close to the edge of the glasses he carries. He tries not to pay attention to the way his skirt moves with him like a graceful dance partner, following his rhythm and swishing around his legs. He tries not to notice how much he enjoys the sensation of his bare thighs touching from time to time. He also tries not to openly wince as Jace giggles beside him, enjoying Alec's misery as several patrons turn to gawk at him. He guesses he's lucky no one comes up to him to spit some hateful comment directly in his face.

A young man does approach at some point in the evening, laughing as he comments on how his older brother wore a dress for his bachelor party last year. Alec wants the floor to open beneath his feet and swallow him, he wants to disappear as Izzy and Jace laugh along and tell the young man of their drunken adventures the previous week, which resulted in Alec wearing this skirt tonight. The young man doesn't have ill intentions, Alec can tell, and it's probably just a way to start the conversation with him: it's impossible to misunderstand the spark of interest that shines in the man's eyes as he grins in his direction. Alec's answering smile is a forced frown at best and he fidgets a little, finally running his hand through his hair and hoping that the lights of the bar catch on his engagement ring. It works - some things still go his way, apparently.

Realisation dawns on the man's face and he gives Alec a subtle nod of apology, before he exchanges a few more pleasantries with his siblings, as if he wasn't looking for anything else in the first place. Unease clogs Alec's throat as he hears about the man's and his brother's shenanigans during his bachelor party and he glances down while his siblings laugh. He's not sure to understand them. It's a skirt. Not a... a funny Halloween costume.

He's wearing it tonight because of a lost bet but what if... what if he wanted to wear it again? For no other reason than the fact that he likes it and feels comfortable in the skirt? He wouldn't be wearing it to be made fun of, he's not dressing to entertain other people, and he doesn't want anyone to assume that he's attending a bachelor or costume party. Would it be too much to ask, to be taken seriously? To wear the skirt at work as he rearranges the books on the shelves and not fear mockery or scorn? Shit, what will Magnus think if he shows up with his legs on display like that?

Alec drinks his beer in a few long gulps to distract himself from his thoughts, unsure where they might lead him, until his glass is empty and the man has left.

"You want another one?" Jace asks with one eyebrow raised, glancing at his brother's glass in disbelief. "I didn't think you'd be done so fast. Do you actually want to get drunk tonight?"

"I want to go home," Alec hears himself say before he can think it over, and he almost takes it back when he catches Izzy's worried glance, tinged with guilt. "I'm... I'm going to call a taxi."

"We'll go with you," his sister immediately decides, and Jace nods as well while he takes his phone to call the taxi company himself.

They can tell that something's wrong, they have known Alec for far too long not to notice and see through the reassuring smile he tries to give them. He's thankful for their concern, as well as the fact that they don't sulk even though he's ruined their plans for the night.

"Is it the skirt?" Jace slowly asks as they wait outside the bar. "Are you that uncomfortable?"

"Yes," Alec answers quietly.

It's not true. While he found the idea daunting at first, he's quickly changed his mind and the skirt doesn't bother him anymore, far from it. Still, he doesn't want to say as much to his siblings, not when they thought the whole situation was hilarious.

The ride back is quiet, the only noise being the driver's chatter above the low songs that play on the radio. Alec gave his address first and he can feel the worried glances that his siblings exchange without even looking at them.

"You're sure you don't want to swing by mine again?" Izzy asks, "Your pants and your shoes..."

"I'll get them back tomorrow, or something," Alec mutters, fingers twitching nervously over the fabric of his skirt. "I... I just want to go home. I'm really tired."

"Alright," Jace says softly, before Izzy can insist, "Let's get you home."

Alec manages to flash them both a smile. Izzy's concern is not easily placated but she accepts Jace's intervention. It's funny sometimes, just how different his siblings are, personality-wise. Izzy will stick close to the person she thinks is hiding their pain until her quiet but intense worrying finally gets them to spill the beans about what's going on, while Jace gives them the space they ask for, respectful of the time some people need... but one half-word and he'll cross the whole city to be there and listen to their trouble.

"Are we good?" Izzy eventually asks when the taxi driver stops in front of Alec's and Magnus' apartment and her brother is ready to leave.

"Of course," Alec says, and he means it, making sure that she knows as much by wrapping her into a brief hug. "Always."

He means it, because neither of his siblings could foresee that he would actually enjoy the crap out of wearing a skirt and he can't blame them for that, because he didn't think he would either. None of them could imagine that this punishment would result in a life crisis but there they are, and Alec opens his front door with shaky fingers.

It's dark and quiet inside, which means that Magnus isn't back yet - they leave at least one light on when one of them goes to bed and knows the other will be home late, so they don't have to stumble their way into the bedroom and stub their toe into furniture that they couldn't see in the dark.

Alec takes a few seconds to pet Chairman Meow when the little cat barrels into his legs, then he carefully takes off the Converses and turns the lights on in the living-room for Magnus before padding barefoot toward the bedroom. He doesn't bother to wash his face or even brush his teeth, which he knows is gross but he just... he's exhausted. He's battling with too many thoughts that push him several long years back, when he felt paralysed at the prospect of ever coming out. He won that fight against his fears but the current situation reminds him too much of the feelings that were tearing him apart at the time, the knowledge that it wasn't a phase, that he wouldn't grow out of it, that there would always be some people who would not understand and would judge him for his way of life... Those were dark and hard times. He can't go through it again.

Alec opens up the button, drags the zip down and steps out of the skirt. He hesitates for a few seconds, unsure where to leave it for the night. He doesn't exactly want Magnus to find the skirt, not while Alec isn't sure of the answers he should give to the questions his fiancé will definitively have. The bathroom won't do, since Magnus will go and brush his teeth when he comes back home, and neither will the laundry basket since Magnus is virtually perfect and never leaves his dirty clothes lying about... So he slips the skirt under the bed and promises himself to take care of it in the morning.

He'll have to do the laundry, discreetly include the skirt and give it back to his sister, even though he's not sure he wants to. If he's being honest, he's sure he'd like to keep it - but it's Izzy's and Magnus would ask questions and...

Alec groans. He's done with this day. Too many thoughts, too many feelings, far too little bravery to deal with them right now. He takes off his cardigan and his shirt, changes into clean boxers, throws the whole lot into the laundry basket and flops onto his bed. He doesn't think he'll fall asleep anytime soon but he'll be damned if he doesn't put his stubbornness to good use and gives up after just a few minutes instead.

By the time Magnus comes home, Alec is still awake. He doesn't say anything while Magnus tiptoes around the bed and the bathroom in silence and he pretends to be asleep, although not because he actually wants to ignore his fiancé. Magnus knows him too well and he would notice Alec's distress at once, which is not something he wishes. While it feels nice to be understood, even without words, Alec doesn't want the questions that are sure to come and he doesn't want to tell Magnus anything until he has organised his thoughts, at least a little. Besides, the whole situation is probably a bit ridiculous. It can wait - or never even be mentioned at all, that could work too.

Alec remains quiet even when Magnus slips into bed next to him, smelling like minty toothpaste and lavender, from the lotion he uses on his face every night. He presses in closer though, rolls just enough to make himself small and burrow into Magnus' side, his head on the muscular chest of his fiancé. Magnus welcomes him into his arms and sighs, content, against his shoulder. Surrounded by comforting warmth and love, Alec manages to forget the skirt he's hidden beneath the bed long enough to fall asleep.

  


  


Alec wakes up late the next day. He can tell even without looking at his phone on the bedside table, because the spot next to him is already empty and cold. He's usually the first on his feet, while Magnus whines and begs him to _come back for a few more minutes, pleeeeease_. Sometimes, Alec is strong enough to resist his fiancé's pleas - most often than not though, he complies and they both end up running late for work, legs feeling like jelly, bodies sore all over, lips still tingling from too much kissing. He's glad it's Saturday and they both have the weekend off.

He can hear the clanging of plates and glasses in the kitchen, as well as the excited mewls of Chairman Meow, so he guesses that Magnus is making them a late breakfast or early lunch and feeding the cat in the process, probably with bits and pieces of their own meal... even though the vet told them their little beast was growing a bit fat and they should stick to a specific diet. Oh well. Magnus likes to spoil Chairman Meow and Alec is happy to let him, as long as their baby doesn't end up sick.

He seizes the opportunity that Magnus is busy in the kitchen to go into the bathroom and shower quickly, eager to make himself somewhat presentable after he took some liberties the previous night - his mouth feels cottony, the taste of beer somehow still lingering on his tongue, and he jams his toothbrush so deep in his mouth that he almost gags.

Alec is about to get dressed to join Magnus in the kitchen when he remembers the skirt he's thrown under the bed. His hand stills over the pair of pants he was about to grab from the wardrobe and he slowly turns towards his and Magnus' mattress. He hasn't made the bed yet, so he takes the time to carefully straighten the sheets and smooth them out, until he's erased all evidence of the night he spent rolling from Magnus' embrace to his own side of the bed. Mostly, it works as an excuse to remain half-naked, boxers tight on his thighs as he feels growing curiosity gnawing at his insides.

Alec fishes the skirt out and fumbles with its zipper as he turns towards the wardrobe he shares with Magnus, covered in a full-length mirror. Izzy and Jace took pictures last night but he... he hasn't seen himself. So maybe he can try on the skirt again, just to have a look? It's easier to pretend that he's just curious, rather than admit that he really, really wants to feel the loose fabric brush against his thighs again.

He quickly strides toward the door of the bedroom that he closes quietly, hoping that Magnus is still busy for a little while. Knowing him, he's probably going all out for their lunch, since Magnus hasn't had the time to cook all week because of his workload: Alec is a hundred percent sure that his fiancé will make the most of this weekend to remedy that. He has time, he thinks, and besides, he'll be quick. He'll just wear the skirt, admire himself - no, not admire, just look - in the mirror and take it off. Yes. That sounds like a plan.

It's a little bit funny, how the apprehension vanishes as soon as he zips the skirt up. He feels... he feels almost confident, tempted to take a walk outside in broad daylight - last night, the darkness felt like a blanket of safety but today... today, Alec feels better about it. He feels good about _himself_ , about his body, and there is no self-consciousness ruining the experience for him as he looks in the mirror at his long legs on display.

He's glad to realise that he feels at peace with wearing the skirt - but the next instant, his brows furrow as he remembers Izzy's and Jace's giggling. It's clothing, not... not a joke. Suddenly, the thought of going out suffocates him and Alec tears his eyes away from his reflection, tears welling up in his eyes. He can't do this, he thinks as he starts fumbling with the button and the zip of the skirt, it's too much, it's too much, it's...

The bedroom door opens wide.

"Good morning sunshine!" Magnus exclaims, one hand still clenched around the handle of the door, his other palm splayed beneath a tray on which he's set a couple of orange juice glasses, two bowls of scrambled eggs and bacon, a plate piled with pancakes and a single, red rose. "Did you sleep w..."

Magnus grows quiet at the sights that welcomes him into the bedroom: Alec, bare-chested but wearing a black skirt, a rosy blush rising upon his cheeks. It's all it takes for Alec to fling himself across the mattress and violently pull onto the bed sheets so that he can hide underneath.

"You saw nothing!" he squeaks, burrowing deeper into his den, "This wasn't me!"

All he hears is his fiancé's chuckling and it hurts, _it hurts_ , but of course he would think this is ridiculous, what kind of man wears a skirt? Why would Alec put one on, except to gather laughter? His eyes burn.

The sound of the tray knocking against the top of the bedside table reaches his ears, before he feels Magnus settling down next to him and pat his head above the sheets. Alec doesn't resurface but closes his eyes tighter, willing the tears to stop rolling... to no avail.

"Alexander?" Magnus calls, the smile evident in his voice. "Love, are you there?"

"No," he whimpers pitifully, and shame chokes him when a sob passes his lips.

Magnus' hand on his head freezes.

"Alexander?" he calls again, and this time it's worry seeping through his tone as he tries to push the sheets off Alec's head, "Darling, what's wrong?"

Alec relents, reappears, and he sees the way Magnus' heart breaks when he takes in his blotchy face and red eyes. His fiancé looks lost, searching Alec's expression for an answer to the question he hasn't asked yet: has he done something wrong?

"You laughed," Alec says, and he doesn't quite manage not to make it sound like an accusation. "You saw the skirt and you laughed."

"I... What? No," Magnus whispers, taken aback, "I... I mean, yes, I laughed but... not at you. Not at the skirt? You... It was the sound you made when you jumped on the bed, it was funny but not... Alexander, I wasn't mocking you, I would _never_."

"I know," Alec realises that it is true at the same time as he says it, because he knows that he can trust Magnus with everything and that he doesn't have to fear judgment, not from him. "I know, I'm sorry, I just... I'm wearing a skirt."

"I noticed," Magnus answers carefully.

He doesn't know what's going on in his man's head but judging by Alec's earlier, touchy reaction, he guesses that his fiancé might not be too sure about this and Magnus doesn't want to upset him any further. Slowly, he cards his fingers through Alec's short hair, humming low in his throat when his fiancé sags against him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks into Alec's ear. "Tell me why you're wearing a skirt? Is it... Is it something sexual, like some kink you'd like to try out, maybe with lingerie or..."

"N... no," Alec mumbles, and Magnus is somewhat relieved to see that the pink on his cheeks is due to embarrassment and not to fresh tears. "It's... I lost a dare. Izzy and Jace made me wear it yesterday as punishment."

Magnus nods against Alec's head in encouragement, failing to see how this event from the previous night led them here, cuddling in bed while the younger man still has tear tracks glistening on his cheeks. He stays quiet, only wraps Alec a bit more comfortably in his embrace, and waits for his fiancé to keep talking.

"I like it," Alec confesses in a hushed whisper. "I like wearing a skirt. I felt pretty."

"You're beautiful," Magnus agrees at once, pressing a kiss to his fiancé's hair. "That's the first thought that popped into my head when I saw you earlier. Can you... can you stand up? Show me again?"

Alec obviously hesitates and when Magnus opens his mouth to backtrack, to tell him that he doesn't have to show him anything more if he doesn't want to, the young man shifts and slowly gets up, taking a step back so that Magnus is able to get a better look. Alec feels hot under the attentive gaze of his fiancé, though there is nothing hungry into Magnus' eyes, nothing that should make him feel like the next logical step is to strip and straddle Magnus. He told his fiancé that this wasn't something sexual and Magnus' gaze is respectful; a soft smile dances on his lips as his eyes convey in silence the words he expressed aloud a bit earlier. He sincerely thinks that Alec is beautiful.

"Did you think that I wouldn't like it?" Magnus wonders, then amends, eager to show Alec that he doesn't believe the skirt relates in any way to his own needs, "Did you think I wouldn't want you to wear it?"

"I don't know..." Alec says and adverts his eyes, then sits on the bed next to Magnus again. "You... you don't think it's weird?"

He doesn't quite know how to express the thoughts running wild in his mind - or maybe he does, but he's not sure he wants to get too deep into them. He's aware that he probably needs to, it won't do any good to internalise all that but... His brain quietens when Magnus' fingers gently tangle with his own and squeeze his hand.

"It's not weird," he says, _promises_ , and his smile soothes Alec's insecurities, until it turns into a concerned frown. "Wait, did someone say anything rude to you yesterday?"

"No," Alec placates him, delight curling into his stomach at the righteous offense on his behalf - he knew he didn't have to fear Magnus' judgment. "Nobody did. People seemed to believe it was just a joke, though."

He's forced to admit that it was, at least at first. Neither Jace nor Izzy planned for this to go beyond a simple punishment for a lost bet, they couldn't foresee that it would unlock a whole new facet of Alec and reveal something new to him...

"You don't want it to be a joke," Magnus understands. "You want to keep wearing skirts."

"Yes..."

Alec trails off, bites his lower lip, but Magnus gets it anyway.

"Not just in the house," he guesses.

The younger man doesn't answer but his fiancé doesn't need a spoken confirmation. The way Alec's shoulders hunch on themselves is enough as it is.

"It's alright," Magnus comforts him, his hands coming up to cup Alec's pretty face, and his thumbs caress his cheeks in soft circles. "You're free to wear anything you like, anywhere you want."

"Am I?" Alec asks softly, and he almost feels guilty for trampling on Magnus' gentle enthusiasm.

He knows that not everyone gets lucky enough to have their significant other's support in such matters. He should probably feel happy that Magnus is willing to include this new part of Alec in their relationship and respect him but it's... it's not enough. He has many fears that he hasn't voiced yet and he needs Magnus to fight him, to argue with each and every one of Alec's self-sabotaging protestations like he knows how, because Magnus is nothing if not convinced that everyone is free to live their life however they want. He's loud about it and sometimes, Alec needs Magnus' faith for himself, needs to hear that his fiancé believes in their own rights enough for the both of them.

"I'm a man," Alec says, "wearing a woman's clothes. That's... that's bound to attract some rude comments."

"A while ago, pants were supposed to be for men only," Magnus says with an almost shrug, and Alec wishes he had that kind of easy self-confidence. "Women had to fight to be allowed to wear trousers too... They've had to fight for so many things, they still do! You can wear a skirt if you want to, Alexander. Rub in everyone's face that you're not afraid of destroying toxic masculinity as it has been normalised for far too long. You want to show your gorgeous legs? You feel good in your skirt? Wear it."

"But..." he starts, and they're hitting the core of the issue he didn't want to discuss, the one that is already bringing tears to his eyes even without telling Magnus about it yet. "It's... What about..."

"Deep breath, love," Magnus reminds him when Alec almost wheezes, and he presses their mouths together in a calm, grounding kiss. "Take your time."

Alec shakes his head. He can't really breathe. He needs to let it all out before it chokes him for good so he does, in a fast string of sentences that are probably all jumbled and don't mean anything much anymore but that's the best he can do while he's crying again.

"I felt good wearing the skirt yesterday," he blurts out, "and it was awkward because people were looking but I liked the skirt itself and this morning I felt good too but then I thought of going out and I'm... I'm terrified because it's like coming out all over again. It's people looking and judging just because I don't fit the usual mould, it's them whispering in my back, it's... It's like going back to high school and being bullied again until I can stand strong enough on my own so that these comments don't hurt me anymore. I don't want to do this again, Magnus, I can't. And I know what people will think. Some already look at us and wonder who is the woman in our relationship and if they see me wearing a skirt, it will only reinforce their beliefs that one of us plays a submissive role because that's how they see women too, somehow, and I know they're ignorant idiots but I..."

"Fuck them," Magnus suddenly seethes.

"W... What?" Alec stammers, surprised by the sudden vehemence in Magnus' voice.

His fiancé seldom swears - Alec does, a lot, whenever he drops a cup or slams his elbow into the wall or steps into a puddle in the street - and the current occurrence is enough to stop him dead in his tracks.

"Fuck them," Magnus repeats, as if he wasn't sure that Alec heard him properly the first time around. "You said it yourself: they're ignorant idiots. Don't ruin your happiness for them. I know it's not your job or mine to educate them but they have no business keeping you from wearing whatever you want, damnit, and I know it's hard and we've both been through enough crap already in school but... We've learned to deal with that. It's not something any child should ever learn to do but we don't live in a perfect world, so... My point is, we're adults now. We've had years to build up our armour and I'm not saying this will be easier because of it but... but this is something that you can do. And you won't have to do it on your own."

"Really?" Alec asks, his voice small, and Magnus looks almost feral as he nods and kisses him again, hard.

"Really," he confirms, then gestures around their bedroom. "This is our safe place. You can start by only wearing skirts inside the house if you want to, but the day you feel confident and comfortable enough to go out, even just to get the mail, I'll be by your side, holding your hand. I promise, Alexander."

"Thank you, Magnus," he whispers, feeling a bit overwhelmed, and he chuckles when his fiancé catches yet another tear on his fingertips. "I'm sorry for being so dramatic."

"You weren't," Magnus assures him with a new, softer kiss. "It's okay to feel scared and need to be reassured. I'm glad I could help. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah," Alec answers with a grateful smile. "I... I should probably splash some water on my face and finish getting dressed."

"You do that," Magnus agrees and lets go of his fiancé to allow him into the bathroom. "I'll reheat our breakfast a bit. See you in five?"

"Make it ten," Alec groans when he sees his face in the mirror. "I look terrible."

"Still love you," Magnus says softly before he grabs the tray and heads out of their bedroom.

  


  


When Alec joins Magnus in the kitchen, he's wearing his sister's black skirt and has tucked his favourite baby blue sweater into its waistline. He feels good, much better than fifteen minutes ago, and he sports a soft smile. It drops as soon as he realises that two pancakes are burning into the pan instead of just being reheated, and he turns off the stove with a frown as he realises that his fiancé is nowhere in sight.

"Magnus?" he calls.

"In my office!" comes the distant answer.

"I thought we were supposed to eat breakfast?" Alec says, his voice going from loud to low as he approaches Magnus' office and spots him behind his desk, focusing on something on his laptop.

Magnus looks up when he enters the room, a breathless smile blooming on his face when he takes in Alec's outfit.

"Beautiful," he compliments him genuinely, then motions him forward. "Come have a look, I found this website that specialises in skirts for men! They're not that different from women's of course but they fit men's morphology better. They have many different styles and colours, some are quite bright but they also have black, grey and brown ones so I think those would be more to your taste and... Wait, Alexander, why are you crying again? Did I do or say something wrong?"

"Not at all," Alec answers with a tiny sniffle and a bright grin as he walks up to Magnus and wraps his arms around his shoulders, feeling delirious with the sheer love he feels for his fiancé while he hugs him tightly. "Not at all."

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading!


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